Gaijin Bars

Gaijin = foreigner. Gaijin bar = place where foreigners hang out. They are usually pretty easy to spot. Bunch of international flags in the window. Some sort of non-Japanese beer advertisements like Budweiser or Guinness to attract a passing gaijin's attention. Let's not forget the ubiquitous, shitty wall of signed foreign currency. Bunch of American and Canadian bills stapled to the wall with great quotes like "JEFF WAS HERE! Bumville, Texas 1998".

While I'm a fan of the authentic Japanese experience and all that jive, I'm also a fan of cute Australian girls. I'm also a fan of Japanese girls who go to gaijin bars to meet mysterious hairy foreigners like myself. So I've been to my share of of these bars.

Last night JAM, Dave, and I headed out to a gaijin bar in Nagano called Liberty. America f**k yeah! Pretty cool spot, played some darts, met some local ex-patriots from the UK, Dave ate some tasty spaghetti. Now I'm not quite sure where the night went all wrong for me. Could have been the copious amounts of beer, but I spent the last 2 weeks on tour with a band, so my tolerance for beer is godly at this point. Might have been my desision not to eat my dinner due to excessive onion action. Maybe when I started buying girls drinks on our BBC America expense account, which resulted in someone giving us all gin and tonics. However, I'm fairly certain the problem arouse when JAM spotted a bottle of Kahula on the bar. JAM being totally gay for The Big Lebowski, suggested we all start drinking white russians...

Empty stomach + lots of beer + gin and tonics + multiple thick and creamy white russians = stinky hotel room. I awoke this morning to find a disaster area inside my bathroom. I have no recollection of leaving the bar, the taxi ride back, entering the hotel room, the un godly horror that occurred inside my bathroom or getting into bed. Lucky for me, my best friends EVER documented the whole process with a digi camera! I'm sure JAM will post them in a few.

Edited by JAM:

First off let me ease the minds out there and clear up some confusion by those that were obviously hammered last night. Dave is the one who spotted the bottle of Kahula, and if my memory serves me correctly (which it is always on) it was Scott who suggested we start drinking the Caucasians. I give Scott a little credit on the distorted history, at that point of the evening he was probably 10 or so beers deep. So I can understand the foggy recollection.

He was right on one point though, Dave and I being the upright citizens that we are did happen to document the high points for the evening as shown by the photos below. Feel free to browse through and see just how an ending of destruction is started. And for the kids reading out there, expelling your stomach content the way it came in is never good, so don't ever drink. Unless the drinks are Caucasians, in which case enjoy and don't pull a Scott…